I am so impatient.
There is this terrible thing that I just realized that I have started to do.
I look at other people and see the things that they have, that I want, and I can't figure out why I don't have them myself.
Most recently and the most prominently stuck in the front of my mind is the desire to find my husband. I have seen 2 of my 3 best friends get married this past summer, and i am so happy for them, just a little jealous.
As I have been watching conference this weekend I can't help but hear the words that these leaders speak concerning husbands and wives, and how I can't even relate. It is really sad actually. It makes my heart hurt a little bit because I miss my mystery man. How is it possible for a person to miss someone they have never met? I'm not quite sure, but I surely am missing him right now. I can't wait until he and I can listen to conference together and apply it to OUR life.
Another thing(s) that I have been really wanting lately are my babies. Yes, another set of desires that I have no real idea about. For one reason or another, I just miss MY family.
I just get really really scared that I will never find my future husband. This is ridiculous thinking because i'm only 20. I know. It is just really hard to accept that I am still single...not even having a boy friend. How am I supposed to believe that I am going to get married any time soon?
I know, I am just being impatient, hence the title of this blog.
7 comments :
You know what? I thought the same exact thing and worried just like you. I talked to Grandma once about it and she gave me the best advice. She told me, just live your life and be the best person you can be and the Lord will let you cross paths with the person you're supposed to marry. There is someone out there and the Lord is preparing him right now and by the power of the Lord he will come into your life. Sure enough, that semester I met Ryan and it was certainly the "power of God" that made our paths cross because there would have been no other way in our "love story". Anyway...hang in there chica!
YOU EXPRESSED EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING! I prayed about it just last night, in fact. It already seems far away enough, let alone when you're not even dating anyone! I ache for it so badly that it's almost obsessive!!! We gotta talk.
Well, Marissa and Carly, if I may insert my opinion....well, I am anyway!
I remember having those same exact feelings when I was at BYU. I felt like I was living my life in harmony with the Savior and didn't understand why some relationships just weren't working out. Everything seemed perfect, in MY opinion. I graduated from BYU with a Bachelor's and Master's degrees and STILL single. It didn't make sense to me - I didn't understand - why was I so different than anyone else? A few more years passed and I was approaching 26. That is old by LDS standards or at least in the envioronment that you are currently in now. But let me tell you something that has been one of the strongest testimonies of my life. Heavenly Father knows exactly who you are and who that Mr. Right is and is working like crazy to make sure both of you are who you need to be at the right time in your lives. You could probably find someone to marry you wtihin the next 6 months, but is that what you really want? Do you really want just someone to share your life with and to have babies with OR do you want that someone to be your best half, your best friend, your rock, your therapist, your....you get the jest. He is there, somewhere, and the best thing you both can do is to just keep making yourselves the best you can be and staying close to the spirit who will put you in the right place at the right time. It will happen, I promise, and then you will understand why things needed to happen when they did. You are both beautiful and the worse thing you could do is to just "settle" for someone, even though they might be a great guy. Don't just settle, make yourself the best person for him and that takes time. Love you, girls!
OH! I forgot to add the critical part! As I was approaching 26, I met Jeff and then I knew why those relationships didn't work out. You have met him - he's fabulous! And without him, there would be no Heidi, and we all know what sadness we would all feel without her in our lives!!
Alison, you are one smart woman. I haven't ever really thought about things int he manor that you laid them out. Obviously, I'm a girl and i'm still wanting to find Mr Right...but now i am starting to realize that I will find him, but I can wait. It's nice to hear this coming from someone else besides the people who keep saying it to me, yet their story is that they married their high school sweetheart haha. I'm glad you found Jeff, so I could have heidi as my roommate! I just love her so much!
This just made me so happy! Not your blog per se, but the comments. :) I'm glad you guys are happy to have me in your lives! Ha. But this is not about me. I love what my mom said. It makes my heart hurt when you feel bad because you are such an amazing, beautiful, talented, and smart girl, and I do NOT like (more than I disliked that spider yesterday!) to hear that you feel like this! So whenever you feel down or lonely, you can just come cuddle with me (in my bed, if you so desire), and we can get some ice cream and/or watch a movie with a very attractive male actor or whatever will make you happy because that's what I want-- you to be happy. Mmmkay? :) LOVE YOU!
Holy smokes...
just read all of that.
Alison, you are incredibly wise (in case you're wondering who I am, I know Carly and Marissa and Heidi/that whole apartment real well haahaha).
Anyway...I have news for you. Boys think of this stuff too. This and more (supporting family and such). I think what Heidi's mom said is incredibly truthful. It just feels right after reading it. The Lord certainly is working miracles and placing that perfect someone in front of us. I was stressing about my wife a few days ago. After reading this, I'm so much happier. I can't wait to meet her (if I haven't already) and give her all the love that I can. I don't want to settle for just anyone. Reading this makes me want to work even HARDER for her than I am trying to now.
This really put things into perspective for me. Holy smokes...
I realized something the other day. I want to share it with you. It's helping me to continue striving for something so when I meet her, it'll be "readily available." I'm striving to become more of a man of integrity and honesty. Without those two things, I would be the poorest man I know. My children have a right to an honorable father. My wife has the right to have a husband with integrity. I want my wife to be able to say I have both...
Anyway, I'm not sure why I wrote all of that. But there you have it. I electronically "spilled my guts."
I love you Mariss. You're the best. He will come, and I will approve of him ;)
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