Electrocuted, Brain Tumor, Rabie Infested Raccoon

As I have sat pondering what to blog about, Carly pointed out a very obvious topic for a blog. I realized that very few people in the world understand the process i go through the get ready every morning. This is not just a shampoo rinse repeat process...It's much more than that. I'm going to give you the inside scoop on what it really takes to make me look like a do every stinking day.

Well...Let's start at the very beginning....A very good place to start! Okay now that the show tunes are out of the way lets get on with it. So this whole process starts when I wake up! I lay in bed for a while and somehow convince myself to roll out of bed. My hair is standing on end....it looks like i have massive tumors growing out of the top of my head. That's not all my friends. My makeup, from the night before, has somehow wandered down my face. I usually look like a raccoon in the mornings. Wow what a wonderful visual...I Raccoon with benign tumors. Precious.

After i wake up I walk into the bathroom to find my beautiful roommates just adding their finishing touches to their already picture perfect selves. I'm pretty sure I startle them each morning when I walk in my Raccoon form. They are nice enough to not make too big of a deal. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the light ...burning my eyes and I feel like my retinas are going to shrivel up like raisins. Next comes the shower. Actually it is a bath. A very long bath. I let the tub fill up and the water run over my feet. Then I drain some of the water, and repeat this process until I feel like I have to get out. During the filling and draining wash the hair. I lather up my hair with the always dependable Herbal essences: Long term relationship. I let that sit while I practically fall asleep. Then rinse. Then comes the conditioner. You would be surprised just how much conditioner it takes to maintain my ridiculously long hair. Well it takes like a heaping handful...no joke. well that has to sit for like 5 minutes and soak in. I'm always afraid that if I don't let it soak, that my ends are just gunna go crazy and start splitting like couples in Hollywood.

After the shower I throw my hair up in a towel and get dressed. Then I usually try to snap my fingers like Sabrina the teenage witch and be completely ready in a millisecond. As you probably guess....doesn't usually work. Well actually, it never ever works. But I wish it did.

Any who...I usually do my make up at this point. But i can't just start applying yet. I have to use make up remover to take off my raccoon mask. Then, and only then do i start applying the new mask. You know the drill...foundation, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara then lip gloss.

Then It's time to address my hair issue. I take off the towel and my hair is all slicked back and I look like a boy wearing his sisters makeup. I pick my hair...using a hair pick. Then Spray on some heat tamer. Then i whip out the blow dryer. First I have to dry the roots while turning my head upside down. Then i flip my head back over and my roots are dried and they are sticking straight up. Then I dry the ends. It takes like 10 minutes.

Then comes the straightener. It's pink, and it's name is cha cha...Cha Cha the Chi. I runt he straightener through my hair, leaving my bangs to be straightened later.

Then comes the fun part. My best friend in the morning is my ratting comb. It's pink...just like my straightener. I rat my hair in 6 different sections. each section I spray with hair spray and let it dry. It looks completely ridiculous. My roommates usually have already gone to their class and returned by this point. This part of the process is my roommates favorite part. I look like i stuck my finger in an outlet. Then I comb it down just enough that it still has the volume that I'm going for.

Then the bangs...Lets just say they have a mind of their own. I usually just run a straightener through them and call it good with whatever they decide to do.

Then after all this I brush my chompers. Up and down in a circular motion. All the time looking like a dog with Rabies.(if the spelling is wrong through any of this...I blame Carly)

In the end I usually end up changing about 6 times and have to settle on an outfit because I'm usually already late for whatever I'm getting ready for.

Now wasn't that a fun process?!?! I thoroughly enjoy doing it...every day...of my life...always. I hope you enjoyed hearing my process, and maybe it made you feel better about your daily process! After all I highly doubt you look like a tumor infested raccoon who stuck it's finger in an outlet while foaming at the mouth from rabies!